yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
