I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
