I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
