I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
