We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
