but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
