so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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