his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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