so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
