ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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