She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
