Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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