Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
