Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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