Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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