im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
