My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I look better un-naked...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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