After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I puked a lego.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
