Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
