remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
