I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize