He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize