If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
