it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
