i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
sex in a hospital.. check
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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