I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize