The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
