The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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