I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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