Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
