Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
