before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
