I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
