what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
