16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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