After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
