okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
