Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
