is your mom at the bar?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
