1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
