I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
