i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
