Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
false alarm. still invincible.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
