How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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