I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
