I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
