Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
