You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
