Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
