we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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