If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
