Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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