Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Can you bring me the toilet please
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
