i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Can you bring me the toilet please
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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