we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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