Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
