I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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