I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
