Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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