cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
