My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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