That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
