My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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