3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
