what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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