Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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