break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
